Functioning Human™ guides
The stuff nobody taught you
Short, honest guides to moving, money, hosting, work and the rest of real life. Read one, then let Jarmer hand you the first step.
Job hunting? Interviews, resumes and cover letters live at our sister site, Hey Vitae.
Tech & SystemsHow to Get Your Own Custom Email AddressAre you job searching, starting a business or just want a really cool email address? It’s easier than you think. you@yourdomain.com, here we come!
Relationships & FamilyDog Goals vs. Dog Reality: A Starter GuideThe wagging tail, big brown eyes, and lick on the face did it, and all of the sudden a four-legged fur baby is part of our life. Now what? Learn from our experience.
Work & CareerSurviving the Ice Breaker (Without Melting Down)Why is it so easy for some people to start up a conversation with a perfect stranger and be completely at ease, while others forget how to use our tongues to speak and our brains to think? What are some tips to help?Latest
Home & LifeYou’re Gonna Need a Hammer (and 9 Other Tools): A Basic Toolbox for AdultingThere are hundreds of hand tools out there. Some tighten, some loosen, some pound, some measure, some bend, some hold, and some cut. But what do you really need when moving into that first apartment, condo, or house?
@Duffy4 min read
Work & CareerMore Money… More Taxes? Why Moving Up a Tax Bracket Won’t Shrink Your PaycheckHeard you’ll make less if you get a raise? That’s a myth. Yes, you may enter a higher tax bracket, but only part of your income gets taxed at the higher rate. You’ll still take home more. Take that raise and celebrate.
Meta FHSo You’re Trying to Be a Functional Human? Start Here.Let’s be real: being an adult is a lot. There’s no instruction manual, no clean progression path, and no prize for remembering to book your own dentist appointment, compare insurance plans, clean your bathroom, answer that email, and somehow also become a well-adjusted person. That’s where Functioning Human comes in.
More guides
- AI for the Rest of Us: What You Actually Need to KnowFeeling a little left behind? It’s ok, things moved fast. ChatGPT didn’t even exist before late 2022 (!!!!) and suddenly the internet is full of robot poets, fake celebrity photos, and people asking AI how to boil eggs. This is your crash course to get up to speed.
Our top 3 picks for boxed Mac & CheeseFor too long has box macaroni and cheese been unfairly judged, relegated to late-night cravings and just feeling a little bad about eating it. But it’s only a few bucks, sometimes under $1, comforting, and it still hits. But not all boxes are created equal.
Small Luxuries That Feel Weirdly FancyThis is a curated, exclusive list of not-exactly-fancy fancy things we’ve really come to love. The kind of small upgrades that somehow make you feel like you’ve got your life together.
Moving In? Blunt Relationship Truths No One Tells YouWelcome to the land of shared closets, joint grocery lists, and suddenly knowing way more than you ever wanted to about each other’s bathroom routines. Living with a partner can be amazing, but it’s also full of weird little surprises no one really warns you about. Until now.
Kitchen Hacks That Make You Feel Like a Chef (Without the Effort)So your Thanksgiving contribution went down in family history for the wrong reasons. No problem, it's about the memories. But here's the truth. Cooking isn't a mystical skill bestowed on the chosen few. You too can absolutely impress with just a few hacks up your sleeve.
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Work it out
Free calculators for the money questions that come up at home. No account needed.
- Emergency fund calculatorHow much to keep aside, and how long it'll take to get there.
- Debt payoff calculatorWhich debt to pay first, and when you'll be clear.
- Paycheck splitterSplit a paycheck into bills, savings and spending.
- Moving cost calculatorWhat a move is likely to cost, all in.
- Rent affordabilityHow much rent fits your income.
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